Emotional Needs and Relationships

All people have emotional needs, and in an intimate relationship meeting each other's most important emotional needs is paramount if you are to develop a fulfilling companionship.

Years of interviews have shown that there are 10 emotional needs that are typically the most important in a marriage: admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment.

Funny thing though, when asked to list these needs in order of priority men almost always list them one way while women list them the opposite way. Is it any wonder then that couples grow apart? We tend to do for the other what we think is most important, and that is rarely what is most important to our partner. We just keep missing the mark, and we get frustrated because we don't understand why.

So if you really want to make a positive difference in your marriage, ask your partner to list his or her emotional needs in order of priority. Then keep that list close at hand so that you can do your part to make sure their most important needs are met.

Marriage is about pleasing each other and creating a happy union. Too often we become selfish and begin to complain that our needs aren't being met. We forget that our partner has needs too. So get back on track by doing this simple exercise and your marriage and your level of happiness is bound to improve.

Reducing Resentment in Your Relationship

We live in a busy world. And because couples are beginning to wait to get married until their mid-to late 20’s they often bring well developed hobbies and lifestyles into their new relationship. While we are dating it may feel endearing to know that our man is still in touch with his inner child, but after the lifelong commitment has been made we may find it aggravating that he still wants to spend so much money and time on computer games.

He may have found your girlish inability to make a decision amusing while you were dating, but now he feels burdened with all choices that have to be made regarding the household responsibilities. Eventually he may even begin to see you as a child rather than his equal partner.

Both scenarios are very common in committed relationships. We are so blinded when we are falling in love, but once the real world gets back on track, some of those hobbies, habits and traits will have to evolve if you are to develop a permanent loving relationship.

One way to begin to close the door on some emerging resentment is to take a good look at your partner’s likes and dislikes. Choose one thing he dislikes and make a commitment to never cross that line, i.e. if he cannot stand wearing “pink” socks, then commit to wash his white clothes separately from the rest.

Then choose something he does like and educate yourself on the subject well enough to participate in the activity with him.

For instance, if he loves to fish, learn something about fishing and take up a real and join him. If you can’t stomach catching a fish then go with him and enjoy the walk together to the pond. Once there, read a book while sitting nearby as he fishes.

Whatever it is, it will be possible to find a way to share each other’s hobbies together. And that will not only give you great quality time together, but it shows your partner how genuinely interested and supportive you are of him and his individual passions.