I'm taking a break today from the blog, but I thought you might enjoy reading this. It was written by Jason Dougherty, a writer, musician and choral director. You can participate in creating his latest on-line novel at http://fictionfiction.blogspot.com. See you next week.
Is It Still a “Merry Christmas”?
By Jason Dougherty
As the years go on, the Christmas Spirit seems to be phasing out. More and more gifts are purchased each year during the holidays and Christmas lights are still illuminating neighborhood homes by droves, but the expression of merry wishes for the Christmas season has suddenly become taboo and many even find it offensive.
While preparing an informational letter to send home with my students, I found myself wanting to write “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” What if I offend someone? Am I maintaining a separation of church and state if I write “Merry Christmas”? Is it offensive for a non-Christian to read the words “Merry Christmas”?
I overheard someone saying to another: “I left you a gift in your box. It's just a non-denominational celebration gift for all the work you do for us.” Then, upon leaving work for the Christmas season, another person sent an email to fellow co-workers saying: “Happy Politically Correct day of non-specific Celebration.” Now this, of course, I found amusing and was obviously intended to be a joke. Nevertheless, I found it a little disheartening to ponder the thought that our society has come to embrace the social norm that it is not okay to come right out and say: “Merry Christmas.”
Political Correctness has overstepped its bounds if it means that you can no longer openly wish someone happy thoughts and glad tidings during a festive holiday season that your specific belief system calls “Christmas.”
If we’re not allowed to say “Merry Christmas” for fear of offending someone that does not specifically believe in Christmas, then perhaps we should not say “Happy Holidays” either because not everyone celebrates holidays during this time of year.
Now, I’ve lost track—is it still okay to say “Happy New Year”? I only ask because the Chinese and the Mayans, and many other cultures around the world celebrate the “New Year” at a different time other than our current calendar expiration.
What about “Happy Birthday”? There are some religions that do not celebrate birthdays. Perhaps we should refrain from telling anyone “Happy Birthday” as well. I mean, we don’t want to offend anyone now do we?
I can understand people becoming upset if we were to say things like “Have a terrible New Year,” or “Hope your Christmas is worse than labor pains,” but instead we are wishing happy thoughts, merry thoughts. So maybe the solution to the problem, then, is to never wish good things for people at all—someone might get offended!
The point of all this, of course, is that society is starting to forget what the “Christmas Spirit” is all about. It’s about a time for forgiveness, a time for joy, a time for peace, a time for love, a time for giving, a time for happiness, a time to let your inner child roam free, a time to forget about the stresses and sorrows of life and embrace all that is good in the world. The words “Merry Christmas” are not meant to offend, but are meant to share love and respect with a fellow member of mankind. If that person gets offended because you wished them well, there is nothing you can do about it.
Likewise, I would not take offense to someone wishing me Happy Chanukah or Happy Kwanza. On the contrary, I would take it as a kind gesture and be thankful to the person that mentioned it because that person just wished me happy and prosperous times during a season in which their specific beloved holiday happened to fall.
So I say, this year, be not afraid to express the words that mean so much more than the four syllables that make it. Political Correctness has no place telling you not to share your love for a wonderful time of year with others.
Don’t let the magic of Christmas be lost to fear of offending. People will always find something to be offended by. Instead, let the Christmas Spirit ride with you this season—no matter what your religion. The next time you see someone, regardless of their religious beliefs, tell them what you feel in your heart. Tell them: Merry Christmas.
If you feel so inclined, pass this on to your friends and loved ones. Help them remember what it means to say “Merry Christmas.”
Monday
Wednesday
3 Tips to a Happier Relationship
Because I have pneumonia this week I am writing just a few tidbits of information that are important in developing a better relationship.
1. Be your own spin doctor.
When couples frequently bring up past wrongs it is because they still feel that those wrongs need to be righted. When a woman feels scorned, she may carry that wound with her for a very long time and even though it isn’t logical to constantly bring it up, she does it because deep inside she wishes there was some way to stop the pain. So she looks to her spouse to have just the right words to say or to show her remorse by never doing anything wrong again.
The man just thinks he's being raked over the coals again. Before bringing up old business, I try to use a positive approach: "Remember when we talked before about spending less money? Have you thought any more about that? I'd like to hear what you think." That usually works better than a surprise attack. Notice the use of “I” messages here and how using them reduces the feeling of blame or entrapment.
No matter how bad you may feel, trying to put your partner into an uncomfortable or defensive position will not solve your issue. However, bringing it up all over again without resolution just may do more damage to the relationship.
2. Talk less, do more.
Some people just talk too much. Women are particularly good at this. Because being verbal comes naturally to us, we often use words as a defense mechanism; we use it to stay in control of the conversation, making us look the smartest, or the rightist. For women, conversation is how we solve problems. We like to talk.
Most men like to do things. Instead of trying to pull an all-nighter, talking until he falls asleep (and then getting angry at him for not staying awake during your “discussion,”) try another approach, one that he may be able to understand better like “doing” something differently. I've found that whenever I replace talk with action, I have greater success. Instead of telling him you want a long, delicious good-bye kiss, grab his lapels and show him!
3. Love the flaws.
A husband is there for every grumpy morning, every bad-hair day and every hormonal peak and valley. This used to seem unglamorous to me, like the bloom fading off the rose. Now I see a deeper love in the day-to-day existence. Anyone can carry on a grand passion from a distance. It takes a real lover to adore a human being, warts and all.
Once you stop demanding so much change and start appreciating his good points you will start feeling happier in the relationship. Remember you need to spend more time working on your contribution to a happy relationship because you are the only person you can control.
1. Be your own spin doctor.
When couples frequently bring up past wrongs it is because they still feel that those wrongs need to be righted. When a woman feels scorned, she may carry that wound with her for a very long time and even though it isn’t logical to constantly bring it up, she does it because deep inside she wishes there was some way to stop the pain. So she looks to her spouse to have just the right words to say or to show her remorse by never doing anything wrong again.
The man just thinks he's being raked over the coals again. Before bringing up old business, I try to use a positive approach: "Remember when we talked before about spending less money? Have you thought any more about that? I'd like to hear what you think." That usually works better than a surprise attack. Notice the use of “I” messages here and how using them reduces the feeling of blame or entrapment.
No matter how bad you may feel, trying to put your partner into an uncomfortable or defensive position will not solve your issue. However, bringing it up all over again without resolution just may do more damage to the relationship.
2. Talk less, do more.
Some people just talk too much. Women are particularly good at this. Because being verbal comes naturally to us, we often use words as a defense mechanism; we use it to stay in control of the conversation, making us look the smartest, or the rightist. For women, conversation is how we solve problems. We like to talk.
Most men like to do things. Instead of trying to pull an all-nighter, talking until he falls asleep (and then getting angry at him for not staying awake during your “discussion,”) try another approach, one that he may be able to understand better like “doing” something differently. I've found that whenever I replace talk with action, I have greater success. Instead of telling him you want a long, delicious good-bye kiss, grab his lapels and show him!
3. Love the flaws.
A husband is there for every grumpy morning, every bad-hair day and every hormonal peak and valley. This used to seem unglamorous to me, like the bloom fading off the rose. Now I see a deeper love in the day-to-day existence. Anyone can carry on a grand passion from a distance. It takes a real lover to adore a human being, warts and all.
Once you stop demanding so much change and start appreciating his good points you will start feeling happier in the relationship. Remember you need to spend more time working on your contribution to a happy relationship because you are the only person you can control.
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