Tuesday

In Sickness and in Health

One of the most loving couples I ever knew was well-to-do man and his wife of many years. I never tired of seeing them together – how he doted over her, caressed her hair and gently putting his arm around her as they sat together. They were in their late 30’s, and she was paralyzed from the neck down.

Every Sunday he would dress her in a lovely outfit, fix her hair just so, and position her in her wheel chair with her hands folded on her lap and her legs together, leaning to one side in a casual yet feminine way. She always looked as though she was ready for a photo shoot – pristine, lovely.

Speech was difficult for her so after church he helped her chat with her friends by interpreting for her. He was selfless, dedicated and wonderful. I remember one Sunday he was asked to speak in church. As he stood at the pulpit I realized that it was the only time I’d seen him without her by his side. But he looked at her lovingly as he spoke and they still seemed so connected.

He spoke about their life together before the car accident, their children and how wonderful their years together had been. But what struck me most was when he spoke about the vows he had made with her on their wedding day all those years before. His eyes filled with tears as he expressed his eternal love for her, and he shared his commitment to keep those vows. It wasn’t difficult, he said, it was an opportunity to show her every day how much he loved her.

To love honor and cherish, in sickness and in health… True intimacy isn’t about getting your needs met, agreeing to disagree or communication. It is about creating an enduring love that binds your souls together forever. It is about making and taking your vows seriously, and committing to keep them…forever.