Creating Happy Family Gatherings

The holiday season is here again and just like last year you are probably thinking about family gatherings and how you will survive until January. Here are some tips for getting through the holidays without having to make Xanax your daily supplement:

* Tactfully express your wishes and desires to others. If you don't want to spend the day watching football, say so; then figure out what you will do instead.

* Be tolerant and respectful. When you are with people you don't particularly like, remember to avoid them when necessary and to hold your tongue always. It won't kill you to treat them with respect for the few hours you are under the same roof.

* Offer your opinion only when asked for it. This especially applies to the older members of the family. We may believe we are being helpful, but when under stress - even pleasant stress - it is easy for others to take our helpful hints as an indirect insult. Keep the conversation light and upbeat.

* Ask for what you need. If you want the men to clean up after dinner make sure you let them know ahead of time. People don't like to feel ambushed, and a little pre-planning can go a long way to family harmony.

* Allow everyone 10-years-old and up to sit with the adults. My kids often remind me of how much they hated sitting at the kids table once they became the oldest ones there.

* Check all negativity at the door. Refrain from gossip, negative comments, punishing the kids for small infractions, or any other form of negativity. Is seems so simple, but making a conscious effort to remain positive and upbeat is the key to having a positive and upbeat experience.

Remember, this is a time to create happy family memories. It isn't the time to rehash unresolved differences or to open old wounds. It is just one meal, one day, don't ruin it by waking dead memories. You are an adult now, an individual, not the child you once were. If others around you didn't read this blog and begin to behave unpleasantly, quietly remove yourself from the room until everything calms down. you are in charge of your experience. Make it a great one.

Communication & the Family Pet

You feed them, discipline them, love them, and sometimes you even sleep with them. No, I'm not talking about your kids or even your spouse; I'm talking about the family pet.

In the US the family pet often has near-equal status to other family members. Most of the time the couple finds acceptable ground rules for the pets' care and living arrangements. But occasionally the original pet parent has difficulty allowing the new adoptive parent to have a say in what those ground rules will be. And that can be the beginning of trouble in a relationship.

You have probably known of someone who flippantly states that if they had to choose between their pet and their partner that they would choose the pet. The pet parent may rationalize that they have had the pet for a long time and have thus become too bonded to allow their new love interest to come between them and their animal companion. They may worry that the pet is emotionally innocent and doesn't understand the owners' sudden shift in affections. This may be so, but if your date is willing to allow a pet to come between them and intimacy on a human level I advise you to get out now and move on to someone who shares your views of a pets' place in the home.

Now I am not saying that either position is right or wrong, I'm saying that a pet can be a very intimate member of a family, and like religious views and political orientation, having vastly differing views about a pets' place in the home can become a sore spot in even the strongest relationships.

So before jumping into an intimate human relationship, it would be wise to thoroughly discuss your views and expectations regarding the family pet.