Pornography has become the most damaging virus on your computer. Perhaps you aren't a purveyor of porn, but if you have an internet connection available to you, you are at risk of ruining your relationships and your life. Pornography is fast becoming one of the most common reasons for broken homes in America. So today I'm leaving you with some research statistics so that you can better keep your family from becoming a casualty.
* Psychologist Edward Donnerstein, at the University of Wisconsin, conducted a study that found that even brief exposure to violent forms of pornography can lead to anti-social attitudes and behavior including psychopathy and violent crime. Other studies back his up.
* Exposure to pornography may diminish a person's capacity for true intimacy. Researchers have found that those exposed to nonviolent pornography indicated a diminished satisfaction with their partner's physical appearance, affection, and physical intimacy. Porn is fake, yet it causes one to expect the impossible from intimate relationships.
* Nationwide studies show that where the circulation rates of pornography are up, so are the rape rates. Although rape is not usually a sexual act, but an act of violence, there is some correlation here.
* Approximately 70 percent of the pornographic magazines sold end up in the hands of minors ( The Pornography Plague , Kerby Anderson). Those minors cannot all be someone else's children. Do we know what our children are experiencing — and accepting as a norm? What kind of marriages will they be able to create once their norms have shifted away from healthy moral standards?
* When viewing of pornography becomes habitual, there is a correlative increase in doubts about the value of marriage. Again, immersion into that fantasy world interferes with one's ability to separate fantasy from reality.
Don't rush to assume that you and your family or friends are incapable of giving in to this insidious and destructive force. In today's world, all of us need to be continually committed to stay away from any form of pornography.
Remember, not to condemn is to condone!
Tuesday
Dating - Still Important After the Ceremony
It is human nature to become complacent and to take life for granted when things are going smoothly. In relationships, the honeymoon eventually fades into the background and the complexities of daily life take hold. It is because of those daily complexities that continuing to date each other regularly is important.
Creating a habit of spending quality time together without the kids and the cell phone is one of the best ways for couples to refresh their feelings for each other and to re-ignite the spark between them. Too often couples rationalize that their relationship doesn't need "refreshing," or that they just can't arrange the time or the money that dating would incur. But ask someone in an already troubled relationship if it would have been worth the effort, time and money to maintain a happy relationship and they will likely tell you "yes."
It is easy to look back on a troubled relationship and see what you could have done differently, but it is very hard to see the beginnings of disengagement. To get you through the difficult times, and to help prevent them, it is important to create habits of re-establishing your love for one another on a regular basis.
Make dating once a week a regular part of your life schedule. If money is an issue, be creative and plan events that are inexpensive or free. Even if you just go for a drive or go to a mall and share a milkshake while you watch people go by, the time spent together will be what you remember, not how much money you spent.
Here is an article that will give you some great ideas for fun and inexpensive dates.
http://www.scapades.com/Blog/?cat=10
Creating a habit of spending quality time together without the kids and the cell phone is one of the best ways for couples to refresh their feelings for each other and to re-ignite the spark between them. Too often couples rationalize that their relationship doesn't need "refreshing," or that they just can't arrange the time or the money that dating would incur. But ask someone in an already troubled relationship if it would have been worth the effort, time and money to maintain a happy relationship and they will likely tell you "yes."
It is easy to look back on a troubled relationship and see what you could have done differently, but it is very hard to see the beginnings of disengagement. To get you through the difficult times, and to help prevent them, it is important to create habits of re-establishing your love for one another on a regular basis.
Make dating once a week a regular part of your life schedule. If money is an issue, be creative and plan events that are inexpensive or free. Even if you just go for a drive or go to a mall and share a milkshake while you watch people go by, the time spent together will be what you remember, not how much money you spent.
Here is an article that will give you some great ideas for fun and inexpensive dates.
http://www.scapades.com/Blog/?cat=10
How to Have a Happier Marriage
Here are 3 more steps to developing a happier marriage:
Stop finger-pointing.
Some people are habitual blamers. Regardless of the core issue, they want to know who started it. Some people are fixers - they don't care who did it; they just want a solution. If your partner is like this try something new - reassure him/her at the beginning of a discussion that s/he is not to blame; Let them know that you just needed to talk and get their valuable input. It won't be long before the two of you start to solve problems together.
Handle his ego with care.
Even when your tone is sweet and your message loving, husbands can be quick to feel criticized. It may be hard to believe that a simple request to rinse the dishes before loading them in the dishwasher could truly wound a big, tough guy. The truth is, any request to do things differently can be interpreted as criticism, even if you don't mean it that way. Instead, learn to talk about the problem rather than his actions. Not "When you don't rinse, the dishes stay dirty," but "I notice the dishes aren't getting very clean. Do you think it's the soap, or the dishwasher, or...?" He'll jump in and suggest rinsing them first.
Flirt, flirt, flirt.
A girl at school told my friend's son that he was "really hot." My husband said rather wistfully, "I wish someone would tell me that!" Men love being adored, and it's fun to adore your man. Sneak your hand into his at a party. Whisper a sexy thought in his ear. Or just tell him that, to you, he's really hot.
Stop finger-pointing.
Some people are habitual blamers. Regardless of the core issue, they want to know who started it. Some people are fixers - they don't care who did it; they just want a solution. If your partner is like this try something new - reassure him/her at the beginning of a discussion that s/he is not to blame; Let them know that you just needed to talk and get their valuable input. It won't be long before the two of you start to solve problems together.
Handle his ego with care.
Even when your tone is sweet and your message loving, husbands can be quick to feel criticized. It may be hard to believe that a simple request to rinse the dishes before loading them in the dishwasher could truly wound a big, tough guy. The truth is, any request to do things differently can be interpreted as criticism, even if you don't mean it that way. Instead, learn to talk about the problem rather than his actions. Not "When you don't rinse, the dishes stay dirty," but "I notice the dishes aren't getting very clean. Do you think it's the soap, or the dishwasher, or...?" He'll jump in and suggest rinsing them first.
Flirt, flirt, flirt.
A girl at school told my friend's son that he was "really hot." My husband said rather wistfully, "I wish someone would tell me that!" Men love being adored, and it's fun to adore your man. Sneak your hand into his at a party. Whisper a sexy thought in his ear. Or just tell him that, to you, he's really hot.
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