"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show t any fellow creature, let me do it now, let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -- John Wesely
Every day with our loved ones is precious. Every moment we have to share our love for them is cherished, and every opportunity we have to forgive is priceless.
No bruised ego, no hurt feeling is worth the pain of realizing that you have waited too long to mend your fences. And yes, it is your fence too. Fences rest on borders, and are the responsibility of both parties. Waiting for the other to take responsibility for their share is to place yourself into the role of a victim, and to deny yourself the joy that comes with taking the first brave step to heal old wounds.
Don't let pride keep you from letting go of your self-righteous anger. Mend those fences today, because today will never pass by this way again.
Sunday
The Do's & Dont's of Middle Aged Dating
Dating after 40 can be a swift reminder that you aren't an adolescent anymore. Sure the excitement and the passion re-emerge, but the energy has mellowed and you know better than to throw caution to the wind. Still, a budding romance can cause you to take those old blinders out of storage and try them on for size.
Most of us hope that we will never again have to enter the dating scene. But while we are living longer and enjoying better health to-boot, senior dating is fast becoming the new norm.
Here are some tips for re-entering the dating scene:
Online dating services. The internet has opened up a whole world of possibilities for the prospective dater. There are online dating services like Match.com and endless categories of chat rooms especially created for people in your geographical area and with your specific interests. I recommend finding a chat room with people who share your religious views, who have like-minded values and who are within your age category. This will narrow down the number of chat rooms to ones that are of the most interest to you.
Be prepared to spend at least a year getting to know a potential partner before making any type of long term commitment. Remember it isn't possible to truly know someone via a long-distance relationship (i.e. an internet relationship). You need to spend time doing things together, experiencing each other in every aspect of life (including the winter flu season), to determine if they are someone you could spend your senior years with.
The purpose of every first date is to decide whether or not you want a second one. With that in mind, plan a date that encourages conversation and helps you get to know each other.
Tailor your first date to include a common interest, hobby which helps establish an immediate connection around that which has meaning for both of you. Plan to meet somewhere public. This is particularly important if you have been conversing on the internet. Never give out your address to someone you haven't gotten to know in person. The world has changed and there are predators out there. Don't be too quick to trust.
A meal on your first date? Make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so that you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner implies more intimacy and a movie reduces conversation.
Security in numbers: If the whole idea of dating makes you nervous, consider joining a group dating club or participate in a group activity. Church activities are a good way to get together in groups.
Be smart, be safe, and have an exit strategy. You are going out with someone you don’t know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you’re meeting and where you’ll be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you’re with, leave.
For a list of great tips for senior dating click here.
Most of us hope that we will never again have to enter the dating scene. But while we are living longer and enjoying better health to-boot, senior dating is fast becoming the new norm.
Here are some tips for re-entering the dating scene:
Online dating services. The internet has opened up a whole world of possibilities for the prospective dater. There are online dating services like Match.com and endless categories of chat rooms especially created for people in your geographical area and with your specific interests. I recommend finding a chat room with people who share your religious views, who have like-minded values and who are within your age category. This will narrow down the number of chat rooms to ones that are of the most interest to you.
Be prepared to spend at least a year getting to know a potential partner before making any type of long term commitment. Remember it isn't possible to truly know someone via a long-distance relationship (i.e. an internet relationship). You need to spend time doing things together, experiencing each other in every aspect of life (including the winter flu season), to determine if they are someone you could spend your senior years with.
The purpose of every first date is to decide whether or not you want a second one. With that in mind, plan a date that encourages conversation and helps you get to know each other.
Tailor your first date to include a common interest, hobby which helps establish an immediate connection around that which has meaning for both of you. Plan to meet somewhere public. This is particularly important if you have been conversing on the internet. Never give out your address to someone you haven't gotten to know in person. The world has changed and there are predators out there. Don't be too quick to trust.
A meal on your first date? Make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so that you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner implies more intimacy and a movie reduces conversation.
Security in numbers: If the whole idea of dating makes you nervous, consider joining a group dating club or participate in a group activity. Church activities are a good way to get together in groups.
Be smart, be safe, and have an exit strategy. You are going out with someone you don’t know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you’re meeting and where you’ll be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you’re with, leave.
For a list of great tips for senior dating click here.
Wednesday
The Death of a Child and its Impact on Marriage
The death of a child due to illness, accident or any other reason can have an disabling impact on a couple’s marriage.
Sometimes the loss may bring a couple closer to one another. However for many couples, the stress and pain of their unfathomable loss causes bitterness and anger that can cause them to grow apart.
Men and women deal with loss differently. Women often have large support networks with whom they share their feelings and get support. Men often hide their emotions and attempt to deal with their feelings by focusing on work or caretaking their grieving family. It is important that both understand the other's way of dealing with grief, and it important that each of them allow themselves to completely work through the grief process.
Women may expect their husband to cry more or to show their feelings the way they do. Men may feel the need to be stoic or to hide their emotions to appear strong for their family. Neither tactic is helpful in such a painful situation.
One person may have the desire for more closeness or intimacy while the other needs more time alone. Both are normal, but the differing ways in which each needs to heal may interfere with either getting their needs met. It is important for each family member to communicate their needs and to resolve conflicts openly.
To insure that the relationship remain healthy and strong it is important that they consciously invest more time in each other. Strong happy family life requires much time and attention, but after the death of a child time can make the difference between making it through as a couple or not. This rule holds true for siblings of the deceased child. Too often the grieving couple forget that their other children are in just as much pain as they are. They too need extra time and opportunity to express themselves.
If you and your spouse are having difficulty in your relationship get references from a trusted source for a good couples counselor. Doing so can save your marriage and your family from the additional agony of divorce.
If you or a loved one is suffering the loss of a child and they appear to be stuck in their grief process, suggest grief counseling to them. Better yet, look up some of the grief counselors and grief groups in their area and do the footwork for them. Grief can be immobilizing, making it too difficult to do the work of finding the right group or counselor.
You can survive the loss of your child. You and your family can come out the other side in tact. Be loving and patient with yourself, and give yourself time to heal.
Sometimes the loss may bring a couple closer to one another. However for many couples, the stress and pain of their unfathomable loss causes bitterness and anger that can cause them to grow apart.
Men and women deal with loss differently. Women often have large support networks with whom they share their feelings and get support. Men often hide their emotions and attempt to deal with their feelings by focusing on work or caretaking their grieving family. It is important that both understand the other's way of dealing with grief, and it important that each of them allow themselves to completely work through the grief process.
Women may expect their husband to cry more or to show their feelings the way they do. Men may feel the need to be stoic or to hide their emotions to appear strong for their family. Neither tactic is helpful in such a painful situation.
One person may have the desire for more closeness or intimacy while the other needs more time alone. Both are normal, but the differing ways in which each needs to heal may interfere with either getting their needs met. It is important for each family member to communicate their needs and to resolve conflicts openly.
To insure that the relationship remain healthy and strong it is important that they consciously invest more time in each other. Strong happy family life requires much time and attention, but after the death of a child time can make the difference between making it through as a couple or not. This rule holds true for siblings of the deceased child. Too often the grieving couple forget that their other children are in just as much pain as they are. They too need extra time and opportunity to express themselves.
If you and your spouse are having difficulty in your relationship get references from a trusted source for a good couples counselor. Doing so can save your marriage and your family from the additional agony of divorce.
If you or a loved one is suffering the loss of a child and they appear to be stuck in their grief process, suggest grief counseling to them. Better yet, look up some of the grief counselors and grief groups in their area and do the footwork for them. Grief can be immobilizing, making it too difficult to do the work of finding the right group or counselor.
You can survive the loss of your child. You and your family can come out the other side in tact. Be loving and patient with yourself, and give yourself time to heal.
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