Dating after 40 can be a swift reminder that you aren't an adolescent anymore. Sure the excitement and the passion re-emerge, but the energy has mellowed and you know better than to throw caution to the wind. Still, a budding romance can cause you to take those old blinders out of storage and try them on for size.
Most of us hope that we will never again have to enter the dating scene. But while we are living longer and enjoying better health to-boot, senior dating is fast becoming the new norm.
Here are some tips for re-entering the dating scene:
Online dating services. The internet has opened up a whole world of possibilities for the prospective dater. There are online dating services like Match.com and endless categories of chat rooms especially created for people in your geographical area and with your specific interests. I recommend finding a chat room with people who share your religious views, who have like-minded values and who are within your age category. This will narrow down the number of chat rooms to ones that are of the most interest to you.
Be prepared to spend at least a year getting to know a potential partner before making any type of long term commitment. Remember it isn't possible to truly know someone via a long-distance relationship (i.e. an internet relationship). You need to spend time doing things together, experiencing each other in every aspect of life (including the winter flu season), to determine if they are someone you could spend your senior years with.
The purpose of every first date is to decide whether or not you want a second one. With that in mind, plan a date that encourages conversation and helps you get to know each other.
Tailor your first date to include a common interest, hobby which helps establish an immediate connection around that which has meaning for both of you. Plan to meet somewhere public. This is particularly important if you have been conversing on the internet. Never give out your address to someone you haven't gotten to know in person. The world has changed and there are predators out there. Don't be too quick to trust.
A meal on your first date? Make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so that you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner implies more intimacy and a movie reduces conversation.
Security in numbers: If the whole idea of dating makes you nervous, consider joining a group dating club or participate in a group activity. Church activities are a good way to get together in groups.
Be smart, be safe, and have an exit strategy. You are going out with someone you don’t know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you’re meeting and where you’ll be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you’re with, leave.
For a list of great tips for senior dating click here.
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