Restraining Orders and Self Protection

Unfortunately some intimate relationships end badly. The couple separates and a restraining order is filed.

A restraining order is a legal order of protection for someone who has been or who feels victimized by another person. Most restraining orders specify how far the person in question has to stay away from the person who filed. It also lists other legal boundaries that need to be enforced such as no phone calls, emails, or any other direct or indirect communication with the victim.

The biggest problems that I see with most couples who have a restraining order in place is 1. the victim breaches the order by initiating or allowing contact with the perpetrator 2. the victim doesn't report all of the perpetrators attempts at contact 3. family members don't take the restraining order seriously and allow themselves to be used as go-betweens.

Restraining orders are not awarded haphazardly and they need to be respected and honored by everyone involved. If the victim chooses to disregard the restraining order in any way it automatically becomes null and void, rendering it useless. Law officers cannot take action if the order has been violated by the victim.

Family members will always take sides in a family dispute, but it is important for them to refuse to breach a restraining order. they should never pass on messages for the perpetrator regardless of how innocent they believe him/her to be. Doing so can put their loved one in legal or physical jeopardy.

The person who filed the restraining order should keep an accurate and detailed list of all attempts at contact the perpetrator makes. List dates, times and the action taken. Then call and report the attempted contact to the police. Neglecting to report attempted breaches will only cause the perpetrator to believe that you have no desire to enforce the order. And that can lead to devastating results.