Tuesday

Who Should Wear the Pants in Your Home?


When it comes to making major decisions every couple has their unwritten rules. Some agree to discuss the situation and make a decision together; others agree to assign one person the final decision making role and some make decisions independently without regard to their spouses opinion. Whatever the "rules" are the most important factor is how each person feels about them.

The idea of designating one partner as the "decision maker" might seem painfully old fashioned to some people but if that is the arrangement that each is happy with and has agreed to, who is to say that it isn't right.

All of us go into relationships with certain expectations of ourselves and of each other. It is when those expectations aren't discussed and agreed upon that trouble happens. Someone with "old-fashioned" values who marries someone who expects to relate on a level playing field, is likely to have difficulty when the two sets of expectations collide.

If you haven't already discussed at length your expectations of each other, make it a high priority to do so before getting into a committed relationship. If you are already in a committed relationship then talking about "the rules" and coming to an agreement with one another will help prevent future problems.

It doesn't matter how long you have known each other, s/he cannot read your mind nor assume your wishes. Only by expressing your expectations and desires will each of you get your needs met.

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